Humanism

I felt really convicted last night when I was at Bible study. We were studying the passage 1Peter 3:14-22, and the topic of humanism came up.

Over the past few years, especially 2008-2009, my life was a mess, and it still is. Inside of me, I felt I’ve lost this joy that I once had. I’ve lost meaning, and I’ve lost identity. Instead of going to God and lay my problems at His feet, I “dealt” with my problems the human and selfish way. In retrospect, there was a time that I’ve distant myself with most human contact, and I was going through this downward spiral. On multiple occasions, I’ve found a temporary fix and just bought things. Things I don’t necessary need, more like toys. Those material things gave me happiness for a while, and I’ve just been living from one “high” to the next.

Last night, at the study, I felt conviced on my temporary fixes. Why is it that I need the latest and greatest? Is it insecurity? Maybe that’s it! I’ve dug myself a hole (financially), in which I will have to climb out of. Granted that, this hole is not very deep. But this process of deepening the hole, and filling it back up, and deepening it some more, is not healthy.

There are so much stuff that we (as a general western term) have, that we take for granted. There are people, human beings, God’s creation… in various parts of the world that are in much worse financial position compare to mine. Much worse enviorment, and health status. Yet, they can still be content with what they have.

This afternoon, while I was eating lunch, this thought came into my mind. I am eating not because I am hungry, but because it’s time to eat. I’ve been blessed with three or more meals a day, and I don’t think much of it. We do not know the meaning of starvation. We do not know the meaning of pain. Face it, we are all rich, and we never had to starve because there is no possible way to obtain food. Even during our “hardest” time, we still had the resource to feed ourselves.

As I am writing this, I feel more and more disgusted by myself. The way I am, and the way I was. Having been here in the US for nearly 10 years now, I felt like I’ve lost of identity, I’ve lost culture. I often wonder what kind of man I would become today if I never came to the US.

My prayer is that I would be content with what I have, and use my resources wisely. And also to GIVE more, and expect less.