Human

Well, seems like I did it again; I’ve dug myself a hole. I wanted to apologize how my previous message came out. After I had my timed-out, and a time of reflection, I came to the realization that I am at fault here.

What was said was purely my human opinion, and I wrote it out of emotions, instead of going to God, I turned to my flesh. I’m sorry for what my message have done, and any disunity it may have caused.

I came to the realization (even in the mist of confusion and pain), that God is good, and flesh is the very reason why we need Him. God is working, even though it might not seem liked it (especially in my case), we are standing too close to the puzzle to see the big picture. We do what we do because of Him. We love because He loved us first. We forgive because Christ forgave us first. All our sins are paid for, everything is doable through Christ.

So what’s next? … Well I really don’t know. This is where God steps in and smack me around with a 2×4 for a bit, and then provide me a way out. This ironically reminds me of Jonah, and his stupidity at first. God still used him. What am I to do now? Well, maybe with mercy I can still stay on project. I realize I was disrespectful to the leaders, and I am sorry about it.

Emotions had me again, it’s hard not to react harshly/disrespectfully when asked to leave. And THAT is where God wants me to be. It all make sense now! I told a bunch of the dudes during Men’s weekend that I don’t know what my flesh is, and that I don’t know what I am struggling with. And now I know! It’s my human emotions. I let my emotions drive me, and I guess I am quick to anger too!

This makes perfect sense, I prayed for God to reveal to me what areas in my life that needs work on, and now one week before project ends, I know!

Honestly, I am in a happy mood at the moment that it all just clicked. Kinda harsh way of learning a lesson, but I guess I am learning humility as well. YES!!! This is what I wanted from project. I came on project with the mindset of “I expect nothing and everything”, meaning I have no expectation for what my summer is going to look like, but I expect God to give me all He got, and change me from the inside out. Praise the Lord.

I was not at peace when I started writing this, but amazingly now I am.

Again, I am sorry for all that I’ve done wrong here on project. Will y’all please forgive me and allow me to finish the rest of project with y’all?