2010 Update

Happy new year! I know… I am about a month late on that. I wanted to update people on my life. A lot has happened since I last updated. And right now, to be honest, I am a bit overwhelmed by a lot of things. If you do not have time to read this long update, I understand, feel free to skip to the bottom for prayer requests.

There has been a few major changes in my life, and things are still developing (you will know what it means later).

First off, a new semester started, and it’s only second week in, but I’m already feeling the burden of it. I am taking 17 credits this semester. All classes that I need for graduation. I am already behind on my progress for graduation, and having to take a full fifth year, I really cannot afford to do bad in any of those classes. It’s only the second week of school, and I got a paper due this coming Monday. Which shouldn’t be that big of a deal, however I have not written a paper in three years. I am frustrated that I have 20+ credits in Science that cannot count toward my major or make progress toward my graduation. These were not easy classes either, to give you an idea, I have organic chemistry, statics, dynamics, biochemistry, physics for engineers, couple extra calculus courses… Those are the kinds of courses I have floating around that are not doing anything for me.

Second, I am currently in the midst of a sticky roommate situation in which is stressing me out. Here’s the context. End of last year, I found housing at a church on campus, and in exchange I am the house-person there. My friend (”T.”) had found out, and asked if he could stay with me, and split the work. I barely knew him, but we met at a men’s overnight with Campus Crusade, so he can’t be that bad of a character (so I thought). So I jumped through hoops to convince the church that it would be okay for T. to join me. They agreed to let him stay with one condition. He is to be under my supervision, and anything he does wrong, I’ll be the one to get in trouble. I have the final say if he’s in or out.

Now fast forward to after summer, and in the middle of this past semester. T. had been slacking on his work, either doing it minimally, or not completing it at all. Things will work out for a bit every time I talk to him, however things will slowly drop below quality again and again. This had happened three times, and I got really tired of constantly having to pick up after him, or to remind him to do his job. After all, he is living here for free, and the only requirement is to do the job. I’ve told the management, and submitted a request for his removal due to his lack of responsibility (it’s was actually making more work for me, since I had to check/pick up after him). Staff gave him a month to turn his act around before the final decision. During the month of under watch, T. had improved his work, but still to be not enough. There were still jobs in which I had to bail him out on. Also, it was apparent to me that his improvement was just to earn his way back in. So I made my final decision for his removal, and gave him ample warning, however during our last staff meeting, T. had challenged my decision in front of the staff, and brought up personal stuff in which had nothing to do with his lack of job performance. Staff took this as, there are personal issues to be dealt with first, therefore, veto my decision on his termination. After this, he is mad at me for “accusing” him of his lack of work, and essentially lowered his character. So we’re not in talking terms.

Over winter break, T. had made plans to go to FL without making arrangement with staff, so I was stuck to either cover for the job either myself or find someone to cover for me. He had made no effort to really care for his job, just make plans leisurely and do whatever he wants. After he got back (still not talking to me, even via email or text messages), he decided to cover only one week’s worth of work to replace the four weeks he was gone for break. At this point, I had come to accept that things are out of my control, and I need to just love him because Christ died for him too. I tried to live at peace with him, as well as made numerous attempts to communicate with him. Suddenly, last week Saturday, he decided to talk to me, but only to threaten me. He said “I’ll make your life hell”, “I’m your worst enemy”, “you’ll be sorry”, “I hate you right now”… And that was the last straw for me. I’ve tried to live peacefully with him, not complaining when he is using mostly my stuff in this room. Yet, he doesn’t show appreciation, and just return with nothing but hostility.

I prayed about all this, a lot (even during winter break when I was in St. Louis for Urbana09 winter conference), and felt like the only way to resolve this peacefully is to stop fighting and make room for God to do work. So I did, as of Sunday, I’ve resigned my house person position (which also means, I am giving up my housing). So even though this was a tough decision, I felt like it’s the only way to make things better, and also for the sake of my mental and physical health. One would think after such a twist to this mess, that the battle is over. T. is still trying to make my life difficult. He would take away laundry keys so that I can’t do my laundry, turned on lights and purposely being loud (closing microwave loudly, turning on music) while I am trying to take a nap, as well as turning off the light when he leaves the room, even though I am still in the room on my computer. So now, school had started, I am still trying to finalize my new housing arrangement. Having a hard time concentrating in my studies, and loosing sleep over this matter.

Thirdly (finally! something positive and happy), Maria and I are doing great in our relationship. God had really put the both of us in each other’s life in a magnificent way. I can tell that our relationship had matured a lot, and God is guiding every step of the way. Recently we’ve joined a co-ed Bible study together, with a multi-generational group through our church. We hope to get to know more church folks, as well as church couples in which we can have an example of a Godly and healthy marriage. Yes, that word was just used… marriage. As some of you may know, Maria and I have talked about engagement and marriage as a possibility in the near future. We have plans to see pre-marital counseling, and looked into a couple counselors. I’m excited to have spent some time in Green Bay during winter break with her family, and I seem to be getting positive responses from her family members (including her parents). My parents are also in support of our relationship, and I have mentioned engagement and marriage to them as well (and yes, they are still in support of our relationship). There are still areas in which we need to grow on together, but things are looking really good right now, and we’re heading toward marriage. There needs to be a lot of prayers about that, and also bringing other people into our lives. I am excited to get to know more of her girlfriends, and she is excited to get to know more of my guy friends. I am grateful for Campus Crusade and my friends there, however, I feel Crusade is too “safe” for me, and I have become too comfortable. Which is another reason I’m slowly transitioning out of Crusade and hopefully getting more involved at Blackhawk church. I’ve also been checking out other ministry organizations (when I was at Urbana), and had a chance to talk to Wycliffe and Pioneers. Both of them could be a potentially good fit for me.

Prayer requests:
- For me to be able to manage my time well with school (17 credits, and already overwhelmed on week2)
- For my roommate situation to be more pleasant.
- Maria and I to be looking toward God, and relying on Him as we continue to grow together. And also for direction on engagement and marriage (and future in general).

Thanks for your prayers and support. God Bless.