Proposal Story (Short Version)
July 24, 2010 -
4:30am -
Woke Maria up from sleep.
Me: “Wake up!”
Maria: “Why? What time is it?”
Me: “It’s 4:30am. We’re going to go climb a mountain today! It’s our last weekend to do this! Let’s go!”
Maria (whine-y): “Ehhhh, but I don’t want to climb a mountain”
Me: “Come on! It’ll be fun! Let’s go”
Somehow I was able to convince her to wake up and go. It was her day to sleep in (opps).
5:30am -
Left Vail to head toward Mt. Elbert trail head. Maria slept during the car ride.
6:50am -
Arrived at trail head. Parking lot packed full with cars.
7:15am -
After getting our gears together, off we go on our hike!
sometime after -
During the climb up, Maria was very crabby and teared up a few times because she really had no motivation to climb. Constant prayers to God to hold off the rain until after proposal, prayers for Maria to have energy, prayers for words to speak. Constant encouragement “You’re doing great babe!”
11:50am -
Arrived at summit. (According to the forecast, it was suppose to be T-Storm by now)
Maria is in tears again, she wish she had more energy to be excited. She feels like she should be excited and feel accomplished, but she just doesn’t have the energy for that. I comforted her a bit then told her I’ll go scout out a place for us to take some pictures. I saw a woman who was using her iPhone to take pictures. I approached her and told her my plan. I told her pretend to take photos of us, but in reality she would have it on video recording mode the whole time.
Sometime after 12:00pm -
Convinced Maria to come look around.
Me: “Maria, come look around, I’m sure you’ll be excited about all of this soon! The view is gonna be great! ”
Walked around a bit, then a “random” woman approached us.
Random woman: “You guys want your pictures taken?”
Me: “Sure. Do you know how to use an iPhone?”
Random woman: “Yea, I got one.”
I handed her Maria’s iPhone and we “posed” for a few pictures…
Me: “Maria, you should turn around and look out into the mountains and put your hands out, it’ll be a cool picture!”
So she did. After she turned around, I took the ring out of my pocket and called out her name.
Me: “Maria, do you trust me to lead you and would you allow me the privilege to care for you the rest of your life?”
Maria teared up, cried, more tears, finally she says yes.
We stayed at the summit and had lunch. An hour or so later, we started hiking down.
We got down the mountain at ~3pm. God was gracious to us and kept the rain and thunderstorm away throughout our hike.
I am engaged! I have a fiance! Wow!
Road Trip to Colorado
Highlights from our road trip:
-Great authentic Mexican food in Sterling, Colorado–Tortilla soup, Green Chile Pork & tasty, creamy re-fried beans, and spicy, fresh salsa
-Watching the changing landscapes from Wisconsin, to Iowa (rolling hills, farmlands, and massive wind turbines), to Nebraska (mostly flat plains with some signs of desert in the West), to Colorado (desert & sudden mountains that take your breathe away).
-Poncho’s at Pastimes A Coffee Bistro, a small cafe & boutique store, in Keensburg, Colorado, which was a blessing to us. We thanked our GPS for finding this little haven for a long-needed Hazelnut Latte to complete the last leg of our Colorado trek.
Things that we learned:
-Next time, plan a different route other than the ~600 mile stretch (over 9 hours) of I-80 through Iowa & Nebraska.
-We are very thankful for the abundant farmlands of the Midwest United States that provide us with all of our favorite foods–grains, greens, and cattle (including dairy!!!)
-Cozad, Nebraska is a very boring place to live. If you ever consider living there, stop, and consider no longer.
Things that surprised us:
-For some reason, the Unleaded Plus gas is cheaper than Regular Unleaded only in the whole state of Iowa! Unleaded Plus was at least 10 cents cheaper at every gas station. Also, there is a “Kum & Go” monopoly in Iowa. For those who don’t know, that would be gas stations, not adult shops, as you might think.
-There are only two Starbucks in Nebraska along I-80 (or possibly the whole state of Nebraska?); one in York, and the other in North Platte, which are 180 miles apart!!
She has decided again…
This past two months Maria has been going back and forth between the two decision. What I thought was her final decision turns out to not be her final decision. She has decided to stay in Madison next year and continue to work on our relationship.
It’s been really cool to see how God had guide her though this process, even though she still does not have a clear answer from God saying “don’t go on the world race” or “stay in Madison”, she is much more at peace with this decision.
Her have been reflecting on multiple passages, one of which is 1 Cor 7. Just Paul’s view on marriage and serving the Lord. She felt that in order for her to serve the Lord with as few distractions (v.35), she would be serving with me. She would have been distracted on the world race, thinking “I wish Ko was here with me to see this… ”
She was also reflecting on Ecc 4, and Ecc 9.
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.- Ecc 4:9-12 (ESV)
In the past 7 months of being together, both of us can agree that we work really well together.
Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. - Ecc 9:9
Our days are limited on earth, it is better to enjoy it with someone you love, and serve the Lord together!
I think the past two months have been a good growing experience for both of us. The decision on World Race had definitely brought a lot topics in our conversation. I feel like we got to understand each other more. I feel like God had been teaching me patience, with Him and also with Maria. Just rely on God for strength. God taught me that Maria is not my responsibility yet. The responsibility is His, therefore He can do whatever He wants. Until He hands over that responsibility for me to take care of her, I must be supportive of her, no matter what the decision is. I must love her the same.
After Maria’s first decision, I was a little sad. I think the reality of things hit me, and that I surrendered Maria to God. I started being more supportive on her decision, and helped her with getting a tent and a backpack… It was through this process that I think I’ve truly just trust God to make this work, and love her.
I am in a very happy place right now. Not just because Maria would be staying here next year, or that we can move forward on getting engaged and marriage. It is because God is working in our lives, and it’s exciting! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us, and looking forward to the day when both of us can serve Him together.
She has decided
She has decided to go on the world race in October. It’s been really hard for me the past two months since Maria had been accepted to the World Race. It was hard because I know I should be supportive and be jolly and rejoice for her, but I can’t help to imagine what my life is without her. I’ve grown to love this woman a lot that I really cannot imagine being so far apart from her for so long.
I think God has been working in my heart to be okay with the idea since Feb. She asked me if I could tell her what I think she should do. I knew that the decision was already made, what I say is not going to change the outcome of the decision. It was hard for me to say it, but I said “You should go”.
One of the thing that my very good friend Christopher told me was there is one thing that always held true for him, something never fails, no matter how messed up he was, and that is God. He knows how to turn your life around and manage things.
So it was a step of faith for me to say to Maria to go, and just trust that God will take good care of her. This is a test of love as well, do I truly love this woman? If I truly do, then I would want the best for her, and rid of selfish motivation. And if I truly believe she loves me, then I have nothing to worry about, she will still love me when she comes back. Not saying long distance relationship is going to be easy, it will definitely be challenging, but God will provide the strength for us to maintain that love we have for each other.
Pulse Conference - Morning Session & Excellence vs. Perfectionism
This past semester, I feel that God have been slowly unleashing and bringing attention to the creative/artistic side of me. In the morning session, Tim Mackie gave a talk on the topic of “tension”, and at the end of the talk, he had us reflect on the following.
What are the places if tension in your life right now?
- In your relationship
- In your creative work
- in your spiritual journey
Could God be using that tension to push you toward a new growth and creativity?
I started thinking, and processing, and I first started asking myself, what are some things that causes tension in my life?
Answer: My future. Why am I in Computer Science? I am suppressing my creative side. My personal passions vs. Maria’s passions.
Then I asked myself the following question:
What has brought me great joy?
My Relationship with Maria Playing guitar, exploring / unleashing musical talent See the result from a piece of my own creative work Enjoying God’s creation with nature (climbing mountains), and taking photography
What would I rather be doing right now?
Married to Maria Serve in a community of artists, worshiping God Able to express my creativity, technologically, musically, and artistically
After that, I went to a seminar about excellence vs. perfectionism.
This seminar resonated with me a lot. I know I struggled with perfectionism before, but I don’t know to what extend. I struggle with perfectionism… a lot… I tend to put more emphasis on the negative portion of a work, instead of seeing the work as a whole, and the positive of it. I tend to see everything as all good or all bad; rarely in between. I tend to be self-conscious about what other thinks of me, comparing myself/my work with others, instead of doing my best for God and God alone. I tend to set unrealistic expectation for myself. All these things can be seen in all different areas of my life. From academics, to workmanship , to playing guitar or drums, to even cooking a meal. I have a standard of doing things, I have a certain level of quality I expect out of my work.
I think that’s part of the reason why I was an ex-engineering major, and now Computer Science major. These are looked as “prestigious” field. Contrary to popular belief that “Asians are born smart”, I work hard to “be smart”. I find my classes right now at the University very challenging, and am struggling to keep up.
People have asked me lately, “So how are you doing?”. My response has been “Just trying to keep my head above water.” In many sense that’s very true. I think the reason behind why I am feeling this way is because of perfectionism. I have an expectation or idea in my head that I’m super-asian-man, that I can do everything! As a result, I feel overwhelmed with the amount of work. On top of that, I may not be doing what really fires me up inside. This can lead to having an attitude of fun work versus a chore. I would love to play my guitar more, because it brings joy in my life, but time passes by so fast when I start playing and getting in the groove. And I can’t afford to do that when I got a million other things I got to take care of such as work, school, relationship… When I do play, I notice how much worse I am compare to what I was (due to lack of practice and playing…), which as a result makes me sad and feeling really bad about myself.
This morning seminar had made me more aware of myself, and what I need to do. Just like what Tony (P90x) always said “Do your best, and forget the rest!” That’s what I need to do! Instead of bringing myself down, I need to not worry about these things and just do my best! I need to stop comparing myself to others, to the world’s standard, because all of that does not matter. What matter is doing my best for God! I need to do what I am passionate about and trust that God has a plan for me.
This lead to the million-dollar question of “What am I really passionate about?”
I don’t know if I know how to answer that question. That’s something I need a lot of prayers about, and seeking the Lord to reveal that to me. I feel like God had been slowly throwing jigsaw puzzle pieces at me, and things are starting to make sense…
I got the job! & other things…
So I got the job at MIS, and I’ve been working there for 2 weeks now. I’m loving it! God definitely has a way of doing things. Even though I had to go through a period of trials, patience testing, and pain, God was teaching me couple of lessons. First of, He had taught me more about trusting Him, relying on Him, for He has everything under control. I have a job now, that pays more than the rent I am paying. He has blessed me with talents, and He is using that talent and providing me a job. I did not see it coming! I did not see myself to be in a different living situation before when I was applying the job. He was planning this all along. I didn’t know how my semester is going to look like when I quit my houseperson job, but I knew that was what I needed to do. So I did, and everything else worked out! Secondly, He also taught me conflict resolution. The answer is love! The answer is take the illogical/humble/Christ loving solution. When it’s hard to love, love anyways, and let God deal with the rest. Do not seek revenge, instead love, and let God bring justice!
Since I just started this new job, I’ve been keeping my head just above water to breath. I’ve been just swamp with scheduled things, that I hardly get time to just do nothing. I started a workout program, but I think I might have to postpone it. I seriously don’t have 1.5 hour block to workout everyday, as much as I want to. My typical day has been start work early, go to class, just enough time to eat lunch, go back to work, then go to class, then eat dinner, then homework, then sleep. I just want to survive this semester, and come back with a fresh start, and lighter load! I am a bit drained at the moment.
I had a chance to go to the prayer room today, even though I probably should have gone to bed… (also what I should be doing right now). I think God is calling me to start a ministry. I am not exactly sure how it looks like yet, but it includes the following keywords:
-Technologies
-Photography
-Art
-Ministry
-Give joyfully
-World focus
-Social Justice
-Poor and Needy
-Serve
-Music and Worship
-Creativity
And what this would bring to my future:
-To Serve
-To Support Others
-To Give Generously
-To Live Simply, But Comfortably
-To Enjoy The Beautiful Things God had Created
More discernment is needed on how or what this is all about.
I realize this entry is very scatter brained, that’s because I am writing this with a very scattered brain.
A resolution to a messy situation & a promissing job opportunity.
First of all, thanks to all who have been praying for me regarding the situation. I just wanted to give you all a quick update in that since a lot have happened in the week.
I got the news last Thursday that I had to move out by last Sunday. Which I think it’s a unfair demand since T. still owes me time from over winter break. On top of that, it’s such a short notice for me to pack and go. Even though it was unfair, I still respected their request and moved out. My parents were fortunate enough and were able to borrow my aunt’s van, and they came last Sunday to help me move a few of the bigger items back to Waukesha for storage (My bed, some boxes of extra supplies, my classical guitar).
I moved next door, literally 20ft from where I was staying. My friend Pat was kind enough to take me in for the semester (or until I find a new place to live). He’s a strong Christian, and I actually went to high-school with his little brother; we were in the same Bible study together a couple summers ago. I am so thankful for his willingness to open up his space, and cram me in there. It was tight to begin with, but we will manage; right now I’m sleeping on his futon.
What was annoying was that my house manager promised me a key to this new apartment will be available to me last Friday, however that never came true. I waited, and tried to email and text him about it, as it turned out, he’s on vacation this whole week. This was definitely a test of patience since he was the one that told me I had to move out of there by Sunday, but then failed to give me my key for my new place, or told me he was going to be gone for a week. I was living out of my backpack going on friend’s couch for a few days beginning of the week when I was waiting for my house manager to get back to me on the key situation. I’ve finally just took the key that he was suppose to make a copy of, and just used it temporary.
But what’s cool is that since I resigned my job, I can see God doing things, and His providence revealing. Initially T. was still giving me a hard time (more of just annoyance), but towards the end of that week, I’ve seen him more mellow, and not really trying to cause any trouble with me. He actually said “Good morning” to me on one of the mornings before I left. That may not seem like a lot in most cases, but this was better than what it was before. He actually acknowledged me, instead of pretending I don’t exist. And since I moved out, even though I have not seen him around much (in person), he hasn’t tried to cause any trouble with me. Most importantly, things have finally slowed down and I am starting to feel peace (which was my intent in resigning my job).
Since I was living there for free as a house-person, now that I have resigned, I no longer have free rent. Which means I am in need of a job this semester. Without knowing I was going to resign my job, I actually applied for a position over winter break, I just got a response back a couple days ago, and now I’ve an interview setup for next Wednesday. If I get this job, I will be making somewhere between $10-$12 an hour, and working 10-15 hours a week, doing computer support for the University. (http://mis.ls.wisc.edu/) They only had two openings, and I’m sure they had a bunch of applications to process through, but I was picked for in person interview, which means I am one of the finalists.
Lifegroup has also been a new thing, and this past Monday was our second lifegroup. Maria and I just really feel like this is a right plug in for us. We really feel the sincerity of the people there, I mentioned briefly about my roommate situation the first week we were there, and they brought it up and asked me how things were going there before I had a chance to give them an update on the situation. Maria also received an email from a woman in the group, with just sincerity specifically expressing some of her past experiences and encouraging her, and praying for her.
Overall, I can see this semester becoming a very important semester where God will be doing a lot of work in both of us. It was a rough start, but I can only see good things happening from here on. Not saying it would be smooth rolling, there will be growth!
Our God is good and sovereign!
2010 Update
Happy new year! I know… I am about a month late on that. I wanted to update people on my life. A lot has happened since I last updated. And right now, to be honest, I am a bit overwhelmed by a lot of things. If you do not have time to read this long update, I understand, feel free to skip to the bottom for prayer requests.
There has been a few major changes in my life, and things are still developing (you will know what it means later).
First off, a new semester started, and it’s only second week in, but I’m already feeling the burden of it. I am taking 17 credits this semester. All classes that I need for graduation. I am already behind on my progress for graduation, and having to take a full fifth year, I really cannot afford to do bad in any of those classes. It’s only the second week of school, and I got a paper due this coming Monday. Which shouldn’t be that big of a deal, however I have not written a paper in three years. I am frustrated that I have 20+ credits in Science that cannot count toward my major or make progress toward my graduation. These were not easy classes either, to give you an idea, I have organic chemistry, statics, dynamics, biochemistry, physics for engineers, couple extra calculus courses… Those are the kinds of courses I have floating around that are not doing anything for me.
Second, I am currently in the midst of a sticky roommate situation in which is stressing me out. Here’s the context. End of last year, I found housing at a church on campus, and in exchange I am the house-person there. My friend (”T.”) had found out, and asked if he could stay with me, and split the work. I barely knew him, but we met at a men’s overnight with Campus Crusade, so he can’t be that bad of a character (so I thought). So I jumped through hoops to convince the church that it would be okay for T. to join me. They agreed to let him stay with one condition. He is to be under my supervision, and anything he does wrong, I’ll be the one to get in trouble. I have the final say if he’s in or out.
Now fast forward to after summer, and in the middle of this past semester. T. had been slacking on his work, either doing it minimally, or not completing it at all. Things will work out for a bit every time I talk to him, however things will slowly drop below quality again and again. This had happened three times, and I got really tired of constantly having to pick up after him, or to remind him to do his job. After all, he is living here for free, and the only requirement is to do the job. I’ve told the management, and submitted a request for his removal due to his lack of responsibility (it’s was actually making more work for me, since I had to check/pick up after him). Staff gave him a month to turn his act around before the final decision. During the month of under watch, T. had improved his work, but still to be not enough. There were still jobs in which I had to bail him out on. Also, it was apparent to me that his improvement was just to earn his way back in. So I made my final decision for his removal, and gave him ample warning, however during our last staff meeting, T. had challenged my decision in front of the staff, and brought up personal stuff in which had nothing to do with his lack of job performance. Staff took this as, there are personal issues to be dealt with first, therefore, veto my decision on his termination. After this, he is mad at me for “accusing” him of his lack of work, and essentially lowered his character. So we’re not in talking terms.
Over winter break, T. had made plans to go to FL without making arrangement with staff, so I was stuck to either cover for the job either myself or find someone to cover for me. He had made no effort to really care for his job, just make plans leisurely and do whatever he wants. After he got back (still not talking to me, even via email or text messages), he decided to cover only one week’s worth of work to replace the four weeks he was gone for break. At this point, I had come to accept that things are out of my control, and I need to just love him because Christ died for him too. I tried to live at peace with him, as well as made numerous attempts to communicate with him. Suddenly, last week Saturday, he decided to talk to me, but only to threaten me. He said “I’ll make your life hell”, “I’m your worst enemy”, “you’ll be sorry”, “I hate you right now”… And that was the last straw for me. I’ve tried to live peacefully with him, not complaining when he is using mostly my stuff in this room. Yet, he doesn’t show appreciation, and just return with nothing but hostility.
I prayed about all this, a lot (even during winter break when I was in St. Louis for Urbana09 winter conference), and felt like the only way to resolve this peacefully is to stop fighting and make room for God to do work. So I did, as of Sunday, I’ve resigned my house person position (which also means, I am giving up my housing). So even though this was a tough decision, I felt like it’s the only way to make things better, and also for the sake of my mental and physical health. One would think after such a twist to this mess, that the battle is over. T. is still trying to make my life difficult. He would take away laundry keys so that I can’t do my laundry, turned on lights and purposely being loud (closing microwave loudly, turning on music) while I am trying to take a nap, as well as turning off the light when he leaves the room, even though I am still in the room on my computer. So now, school had started, I am still trying to finalize my new housing arrangement. Having a hard time concentrating in my studies, and loosing sleep over this matter.
Thirdly (finally! something positive and happy), Maria and I are doing great in our relationship. God had really put the both of us in each other’s life in a magnificent way. I can tell that our relationship had matured a lot, and God is guiding every step of the way. Recently we’ve joined a co-ed Bible study together, with a multi-generational group through our church. We hope to get to know more church folks, as well as church couples in which we can have an example of a Godly and healthy marriage. Yes, that word was just used… marriage. As some of you may know, Maria and I have talked about engagement and marriage as a possibility in the near future. We have plans to see pre-marital counseling, and looked into a couple counselors. I’m excited to have spent some time in Green Bay during winter break with her family, and I seem to be getting positive responses from her family members (including her parents). My parents are also in support of our relationship, and I have mentioned engagement and marriage to them as well (and yes, they are still in support of our relationship). There are still areas in which we need to grow on together, but things are looking really good right now, and we’re heading toward marriage. There needs to be a lot of prayers about that, and also bringing other people into our lives. I am excited to get to know more of her girlfriends, and she is excited to get to know more of my guy friends. I am grateful for Campus Crusade and my friends there, however, I feel Crusade is too “safe” for me, and I have become too comfortable. Which is another reason I’m slowly transitioning out of Crusade and hopefully getting more involved at Blackhawk church. I’ve also been checking out other ministry organizations (when I was at Urbana), and had a chance to talk to Wycliffe and Pioneers. Both of them could be a potentially good fit for me.
Prayer requests:
- For me to be able to manage my time well with school (17 credits, and already overwhelmed on week2)
- For my roommate situation to be more pleasant.
- Maria and I to be looking toward God, and relying on Him as we continue to grow together. And also for direction on engagement and marriage (and future in general).
Thanks for your prayers and support. God Bless.
East Asia Experience
It has been a while since I last updated my site. I’ve just returned from another adventure, this time I was in a land far east in Asia, in a country where the government tells it’s citizen what’s best for them, a country filled with people ready for a change, a country desperately in need of God.
I was in East Asia on a week long vision trip, and during this time, I saw God moved, and saw the need for laborers. Our target audience is college students, and our site was strategically located next to one of the top three universities of this country. Just to give you an idea of the kind of students that attend this school, here’s how the acceptance system works.
Each province is allowed a certain amount of students in (in some cases it can be as little as 3-5 people); so in order to get in the university, you have to be the best of the best, not just top 20% of your class, or top 10%, but much higher than that.
One of our smaller team got in a conversation with this character. The conversation went something like this…
us : Hello, how are you? Do you speak English?
student: yes, I’m doing well.
us : We’re new here, just visiting for a week. We would like to meet new students and make some new friends, we are wondering what you like to do on your free time?
student: You may not believe this, but I’m a world memory challenger.
us: What do you mean?
–student pulls out a deck of cards–
student: Here, shuffle these
– we shuffle cards, while student pulls out a timer, and started breathing slowly –
us: Alright, these are shuffled… {hands cards back}
student: start the timer, as I go through the cards.
–1 minute and 20 seconds passed, student went through the cards twice–
student: alright, here are the cards back, I’m going to name off the cards in order.
–student just starts naming each cards in order.. –
student: alright, I’m stuck right now, skip the next three…
– student continues naming the rest in order –
student: alright, now tell me one of the three cards that are left.
us: 3 of Hearts
– student then picked the right card, and name the other two in order–
These are the kind of students we are influencing. The top students, and perhaps the smartest person in this country (or world), studies here. The best part about the story is, our team had a chance to share the gospel with this student, and he accepted Christ.
That was a story shared by one of our team mates, I did not experience it personally. My experience with the students is quite different from the rest of the team. Since I’ve been in the US for the past 10 years, I have lost my ability to read or write in Chinese. However I can still speak Mandarin because I use it at home. For me, it’s hard to start a conversation in English. It’s just weird for a Chinese man to go up to another Chinese man and say “hey, do you speak English?”. So as a result, all of my conversations with the students began with “你好，请问。。。” (hi, may I ask…) or I might say, in Chinese “hey, I just arrived here, and I’m new here, I was wondering where… ” .
All of the students actually couldn’t tell my “broken Chinese” and just thought I was one of them. I usually proceed to explain, that I am a Malaysian Chinese, not native, and I’ve been in the US for past 10 years, so I cannot read or write anymore. Which leads to just a bunch of conversations, because they were intrigued by my background.
Out of our different students, we had two who are especially interested spiritually.
The first one, I’ll call her Amanda. We met Amanda as she was walking out of class with her friends. Told her we are Americans and looking for new friends, and was able to setup a time to meet and grab coffee with her right there. She brought her boyfriend along to our meeting which turned out to be an interesting story, because as it turns out, one of our previous STINT-er, Rudy, (short term international missionary), had been working on him. He mentioned that Rudy would always talk about religion, and soccer. (At this point, we have not mentioned any spiritual content) Then we talked a little more, then he proceeded and asked if we are Christians. It was from that point both Maria and I were able to share our testimonies and explain the gospel to Amanda. At the end, Amanda said “I am not ready to make a decision yet, I need to read this over many many times”. It is soo cool to see the work of one of our previous STINT-er to have such a big impact on Amanda’s boyfriend, he speaks very highly of Rudy. It’s also amazingly cool that he initiated in asking us about religion, which is a perfect jumping off point for spiritual conversation. It was so cool that Maria and I were able to share in Mandarin (with some mix of English, because our students like to show off their English). This is the first time I’ve shared the gospel in my native tongue. And this is completely a divine appointment. After they left, Maria told me, that was probably one of the most significant spiritual conversation she had ever had. A seed has been planted, our long term workers there will follow up with her.
The second person with high spiritual interest was the last person I initiated. I noticed he was practicing his English (walking back and forth on the lawn, reciting English), and I went up to him and said, “hey, I hear you are practicing your English, I just want to say, you are pretty good…”, quick 2 minute conversation with him, and invited him to come to our party so he can practice with more Americans. He came to the party, and we were able to share our testimonies to him. He asked a lot of good spiritual questions, and I can tell he’s thinking and processing. The last day we were there, I met up with him, and had lunch with him. He is sad that I had to leave and wants to keep in contact with me. I introduced him to one of the long term worker there, and they got connected.
Overall, my experience had been just amazing. Even though the pollution was really bad, just a bad environment for people to live in. I felt like my time there was well spent. I’ve made friends with new students, and potentially becoming brothers and sisters with them. I’ve met some of the brothers and sisters there, and it’s so encouraging to see their level of commitment and their heart for God to move on their campus. I asked one of my brother there what his prayer request is, and he said “for every student to be able to have a chance to meet Christ”. His sincerity have touched my heart, and even right now as I am writing this, just thinking about those words he spoke to me, just brings tears to my eyes. God is moving, no doubt about it. There are strong believers even in a place where it seems spiritually dead. God will raise up men and women to go to them, and spread the good news, and God will also raise up men and women within this country to GO and spread the good news to places we cannot.
How can you not travel across the earth to tell someone the greatest news that have changed your life? How can you not travel across the earth to tell someone what Jesus had done for you?
It’s the only thing on this earth that is relevant!
Thank you supporters for supporting me through prayers and or financially.
Please pray for the men and women doing God’s work overseas.
Please pray for men and women to GO overseas to do God’s work!
Pray for this country to become a sending power in the future!
I still have not raised full support financially for this trip (I am at ~50%), please pray for that as well.
You don’t wear it on your sleeve, you wear it on your face and your heart…
So it’s my third night here at my boss’ place, and God is SOOOO good! It’s just absolutely astounding what has been happening. Yesterday, my boss dropped me off at church! I didn’t even asked for a ride, I mentioned it to him on Saturday to see if he was interested in going to church, and Sunday rolled around, and he offered me a ride there! Background information, my boss’ wife has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and is in severe pain. She had to go into the hospital today to get some stuff done to her. I don’t really know the details, but I know she had a doctor’s appointment. Since I am staying at my boss’ place, he dropped me off at work this morning. And I didn’t expect him to be in at all today due to the fact of the of doctor’s appointment. So throughout the day, I’ve been just praying constantly for opportunity to speak to my boss about spirituality, especially since I am living in his place. It’s like Paul when he was chained to Roman soldier… can’t get away from me now!
Anyways, I worked 9-7pm, and he came by to picked me up. I can tell he was really bummed. So I asked him about his wife, and how she is doing. Proceeded into asking him how he is doing; on the ride back in the car, he was tearing when he talks about the pain she has to go through. He says that he can only sympathize her, but not empathize her, because he does not know how painful it is. She has had this disease for the last 30 years. And when we were getting off the ramp, he saw these clouds, and was telling me how cool it is… and I made a comment, yea, God is pretty amazing. And that was the beginning of our conversation. He replied, “Yea, He/She/It is amazing”. He is definitely a deist.
When we got home, Kathy have already cooked dinner for us, but she was upstairs resting. So it was just my boss and I eating. I proceeded asking him more about this disease that she got, and how it is effecting him spiritually. Also asked him who he thinks God is, what he thinks about afterlife, and what Catholicism’s view on a lot of things. It became clear to me that he is confused on a lot of things due to the Catholic society, with the way Catholicism would guilt people into doing things. That’s the reason he stopped going to church. His point of view on spirituality is basically life, appreciation of life, manifestation of God’s purpose. Which all sounds really weird but, it’s really cool to had him talking about this. He believes there is a creator, and that we will be doing fine if we are manifesting/fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives (more in the works aspect, did not touch on faith).
It was so interesting hearing what he has to say, and then he asked me, so what is your background? I told him about where I come from spiritually, and unfortunately I got cut off early before I was able to share how God took hold of my life. He goes on tangents a lot. However, this was not necessary a bad thing, the next set of tangents led me to asking him what he thought about me, and he said a lot of encouraging things. He said that at first I scared him, coming to him asking for a job but then said something about Campus Crusade. It scared him, thinking I will be some crazy Bible lunatic, that is until he saw what I was capable of doing. I gained his trust very quickly early on when i first started working for him. He appreciates me a lot in ways that I’ve helped him take time off these two months, and was able to be with his wife. He complimented me about being very smart guy, not just in computers, but understood a lot of things that is beyond my age. I asked him about my faith, and he says that he is glad that I am a man of faith, and that I got to be part of his life; I made him think about a lot of questions that haven’t surfaced in awhile (seed planted! YES!). He said what was cool was that I did not wear my faith on my sleeve, but I wore it on my face and my heart. Meaning, I did not come across as condemning, or judging, but I showed what I am all about through my actions, through my heart. That REALLY touched me, it was so cool to hear that from an outsider, and a non-believer. I told him, I am bold about what I am about (I’m here on a 10 week service learning project with Cru… blah blah blah) because I feel like I should be honest about why I am here, and not be dodging bullets. And he told me he really appreciated and respected me for that, even though it scared him at first, it turned out to be a good thing. He said that was a good attitude to have, and really showed my character. I thanked him for what he said for what it’s worth and affirmed that I really appreciated him. And I replied saying that, that is how I live my life, I take what people says at full value (going back to the “for what it’s worth comment”), because that’s all I have is their word to base upon. If people said they appreciate me, it’s sincere, same reason why I am bold about who I am, and what I am about, or if I say things to people (criticism or compliments), its meant to be taken for what it’s worth.
It was at that point, he said “Right on!” and gave me a hug. I then proceeded in asking him that I am curious why he took me in to his house. He said that is who he is… which is true, that is how he is. But I explained to him that if I was in his position, being an employer just hired some dude 2 months ago, suddenly was asked if I could stay at the place, on top of that given the fact that I never come in to work to check on the dude… I would think twice before I let him in my house. He explained that he trust me a lot, and can tell I am not gonna wake up middle of the night and murder anyone. Then he said something… forgot what he said, but he prefaced it by saying, as a friend, not an employer. I wish I remembered what he said, but it was still awesome that he acknowledged that we are more than just employer employee relationship.
There are soo much I left out, due to my inability to remember it all (I got off work at 7, and we didn’t start heading upstairs till around 11pm), and I am tired. But I have a good feeling about all this, and I know this is not gonna be the last time we talk about deep stuff before I leave. This is only the tip of the iceberg, there will be more follow up conversations with him.
God is SO good!
How could you take part in Summer Project with me?
What I am most excited about this summer:
1) See what God has to teach me this summer.
2) Being able to develop relationships with the locals in Colorado, as well as relationships with other students on project. I hope to make some friends that will stay connected after project is over.
3) Bask in God’s magnificent creations, and take lots of photographs.
What I could use prayers for:
1) A humble and servant heart to do His work while I am on project.
2) Support raising. My goal is to raise $3700 - $3950 in support to cover the cost of the project ($3000), and also food and travel for 10 weeks ($700-950). Currently I have $1635 in support.
3) Transportation to Vail. I still don’t know how I am getting to Vail yet. There are multiple options, I could drive there, fly there, or pack myself in a box mail myself there. I am really hoping to drive there, and not miss out on the adventure on the way there, but I don’t currently have a car for the summer.
Closing note, if you are planning on sending me financial support for summer project, please get that in the mail soon. I am suppose to have $2000 in support mailed to Colorado by May 9th (which is this Saturday).
Also, I’ve pretty much exhausted all the contacts I have. If you know anyone that might consider supporting me this summer let me know.
All because of Jesus,
Ko
Humanism
I felt really convicted last night when I was at Bible study. We were studying the passage 1Peter 3:14-22, and the topic of humanism came up.
Over the past few years, especially 2008-2009, my life was a mess, and it still is. Inside of me, I felt I’ve lost this joy that I once had. I’ve lost meaning, and I’ve lost identity. Instead of going to God and lay my problems at His feet, I “dealt” with my problems the human and selfish way. In retrospect, there was a time that I’ve distant myself with most human contact, and I was going through this downward spiral. On multiple occasions, I’ve found a temporary fix and just bought things. Things I don’t necessary need, more like toys. Those material things gave me happiness for a while, and I’ve just been living from one “high” to the next.
Last night, at the study, I felt conviced on my temporary fixes. Why is it that I need the latest and greatest? Is it insecurity? Maybe that’s it! I’ve dug myself a hole (financially), in which I will have to climb out of. Granted that, this hole is not very deep. But this process of deepening the hole, and filling it back up, and deepening it some more, is not healthy.
There are so much stuff that we (as a general western term) have, that we take for granted. There are people, human beings, God’s creation… in various parts of the world that are in much worse financial position compare to mine. Much worse enviorment, and health status. Yet, they can still be content with what they have.
This afternoon, while I was eating lunch, this thought came into my mind. I am eating not because I am hungry, but because it’s time to eat. I’ve been blessed with three or more meals a day, and I don’t think much of it. We do not know the meaning of starvation. We do not know the meaning of pain. Face it, we are all rich, and we never had to starve because there is no possible way to obtain food. Even during our “hardest” time, we still had the resource to feed ourselves.
As I am writing this, I feel more and more disgusted by myself. The way I am, and the way I was. Having been here in the US for nearly 10 years now, I felt like I’ve lost of identity, I’ve lost culture. I often wonder what kind of man I would become today if I never came to the US.
My prayer is that I would be content with what I have, and use my resources wisely. And also to GIVE more, and expect less.
Captain’s log, stardate 62790.5. “Hello world!”
Just finishing up on the new site. This is the “blog” portion of the site… I don’t really like the word blog… instead, I’m calling it “Captain’s Log”. Yes, I’m showing the inner treckkie side of me. :)
This is the first official post on the new site. The stuff before were migrated over from the old installation.
This site is now running on Concrete5 CMS, and Wordpress and SSP_Director. I really enjoyed working on the site. Hopefully you enjoy it too.
Steadfast
Just got back from the Men’s overnight a few hours ago, and it was absolutely amazing. It is encouraging to see a few men can put together an event such as that, and the words that were spoken there were wise and definitely Sprit driven.
I have not been personally doing that well, I haven’t been able concentrate and get things done, and I have not been going to the Lord, and have one-on-one time with Him. That’s what I’ve been mainly struggling with, and surprisingly I am going strong purity wise. But the temptation of unpure thoughts have creeped up more and more…
I got a feeling that this downward spiral will stop, and start moving back up very soon. I actually had the desire to read the Word today. After I got back from the overnight, I was exhausted, so I took a nap. After my nap, I felt like reading the Bible, so I did, and I was continuing where I left off in my goal of reading the Bible systematically from cover to cover. I got to Psalms 77, and for the first time in a while, I was able to concentrate, and able to read and really get a lot of it.
Psalm 77 starts off with:
1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
Just that three verses describes my current walk with the Lord so well. The rest of the chapter describes how not to loose hope in God, and remember all the mirracles and mighty deeds that God had preformed in the past. And that is exactly what I should do. Continue to do what you know what pleases God, and try not to get discouraged by the lack of result, or lack of motivation. Continue to do these things, and see it through. God has something to teach me (all of us), and it would be stupid for me not to go through with it to see what it is.
At the overnight, Dave talked about being steadfast. So lets do it!
Prayer - And what I learned.
This past week has been a pretty bad week for me in terms of productivity and my walk with the Lord. I have to admit that I have not been prioritize my time well. I’ve wasted a bunch of my time last week just randomly here and there, even though I have not directly sin in the acts I did during those random times (meaning, I wasn’t out chasing women, or getting drunk, or looking at porn, and so on…). During those times of procrastination, I haven’t been going to bed at a decent hour, because would try and get the stuff that needs to be done late at night. Due to that fact, I did not get a lot of sleep. And one event lead to another, work load start piling up, and by the end of the week I got stuff that needs to be done piled up the waazoo, and I just don’t want to do them. Also I have not been going to the Word, or have a real quiet time with the Lord for a while now.
It has gotten to the point where I was skipping classes already. Making up excuses for why I shouldn’t go to class, and justifying what I was doing was for my best interest. For example… I skipped one of my CS367 class, because I couldn’t wake up in time. Well, that’s not completely true, I probably could have skipped shower and breakfast, and rush over there being maybe a few minutes late. But I justified in my mind that I wouldn’t have made it on time anyways. I skipped on of my badminton class because I pulled a muscle while getting out of bed. I skipped one of my choir session, because it is not as important as my CS352 class, and I had a pre-lab due that day, and it wasn’t done. (well, the last one might have some truth to it, it wasn’t all my fault)
In terms of my walk with the Lord:
I can’t remember the last time I had a real quiet time with the Lord. Most of the time, if I do interact with the Lord, it’s when right before meal, prayer to bless the meal. Or right before bed, thanking Him for the day, and then go through my list of prayer requests… the routine… I have not been going to the Word on a regular basis. I am not sure which came first (kinda a chicken or the egg question). I do not know if my procrastination caused by lack of going to the Lord… or the other way around. But regardless which caused which, I admit I have not been doing what I should have been doing. And the only way to fix my problem is to do it.
Part of my issue:
I was at Blackhawk church today (I couldnt make it to the morning session because I couldn’t get out of bed in time… see what I mean?)… And the sermon was titled “Can you hear me now?”, and the pastor was using the analogy of our prayer to God is like a cell phone, and the cell phone signal in relation to the cell tower. Sometimes, we get good reception and no drop calls or whatever (we pray, and God answers).But other times, it seems like we pray, and nothing happens.
The pastor was saying when we are out of range of the cell tower to get reception, there is nothing the cell tower can do, it is US that have to move closer to the tower in order to get a good coverage. Well, going back to prayer, the way we can get better reception/coverage is to pray correctly. We looked at the proper way of praying, and specifically in Daniel 9. In the prayer, it was coming from the HEART! Sin was confessed many times (some may not necessary used the word sin, but it’s pretty clear it’s talking about sin… such as, done wrong.. and other synonyms). Then the pastor gave us some time to reflect, and go the the Lord, and just be true to God…
That is sorta when I realized, I haven’t really been sincere to God. That may be why I have been not doing too hot. That might be why I have been stumbling, and my prayers are not really being answered. I have NOT BEEN SINCERE TO GOD, because I didn’t prioritize my time well, and when it’s time for bed, I am usually too tired to do a good prayer with God.
Then I thought about it some more, and think back to the last time I really really had a sincere prayer. And the only one that I can think of was when I was head over heels for a girl. THOSE prayers were soo sincere, I was able to see God move. I was serious about the girl, I would do anything for her. And I think part of the problem of why things turned south between the girl and I was because things did start to look good, and I depended less and less on God. And took matters onto my own hands, and that was when I messed up, and caused the whole relationship (it was just friendship), to fall apart. Things are still broken between the two of us, and I as the man, did not initiate healing. Again I was making excuses in my head, justifying why I think it’s not my position to initiate. The truth is, that is all crap.
The plan to get back on track:
Well, I obviously need to re-prioritize my time. And I should really seek the Lord first in whatever I do, and everything else will fall into place. I think if I go to the Lord sincerely, and really pray, and really make an effort to sincerely desire Him (instead of just going to Him because that’s just one thing on your checklist you need to do before you go to bed at night). If I did that…. the rest of my day will fall into place. Things will get done, I will not be stressed out. I will have more time for myself to do things I like, I would probably get more sleep. I would probably also struggle less with contentment.
That’s my challenge for myself. I am going to send this to my accountability brothers, and make sure they see me go through with this. I CAN fight the grip that satan has on Madison’s environment. But I cannot fight this battle alone. In GOD all things are possible.
Madison experience so far, and first day of class.
My experience at Madison so far has been mostly pleasent. I moved in on Jan. 14th, but there wasn’t much to do around my dorm. Not too many people moved in yet. So I went exploring around Madison, to get myself familiar with the roads, and just how to get to places in general. Living in Madison has brought a few things to my attention that I used to take for granted.
1) Car - I am so used to drive everywhere, and now that I don’t have a vehicle, I have to rely on my legs, and bus. Sometimes it’s faster to just use my legs.
2) Food - I don’t cook too often at home, even though I am pretty capable of cooking decent food. Now, I open up the fridge, and there isn’t food there; and there isn’t all that much time for me to make food either.
3) Family - Yea, even though when I was back home, I don’t interact with them THAT often,it’s kinda weird not seeing them around. Not having Milo sleeping with me 
Everyone has moved in. Classes started today, and it was alright, but more about that later.
Since I’ve been here, the devil has been trying to attack my faith left and right. It’s very important for me to stand firm on my faith, and not compromise. The otherday a dude on my floor was just hanging in my room, and out of no where, he cracked a joke about Jesus’s crucifixion. That made me mad, so I told him to get out of my room. Probably not the best way of approaching the situation, but he left, and he came by the next day and apologized. Through that single event, pretty much the whole floor heard about it, (Ko kicked so and so out of his room, he’s a Jesus freak… something like that), and I am not sure if that’s a good thing. I don’t mind being labled as a religious guy, or a Jesus freak, but I don’t want to appear unapproachable either. This might impact the kinds of conversations we will have in the future (and opportunity to share the gosple). This might also impact the kind of relationships I have with the people here… I might just be an acquaintance and wont have the oportunity to be a friend.
But the people on my floor has been pretty nice to me, and I think it’s too early to tell of the impact of my impulsive reaction that happened that day.
My roommate Adam is nice. Before I met him, I as at first kinda afraid of what he would be like. I’ve told a few people my concern; seems like God matched me up with a good fellow so far. Adam is pretty respecful, and flexible and putting up with me. He’s pretty quiet, but he’s pretty cool. He studies a lot, he started reading his textbook before class even starts. I think we can get along pretty well.
First day experience:
Well, I made it to my first class without getting lost, I didn’t wait for the bus, so I just walked there. I was surprise I got there without trial and error. But the second class I couldn’t find the building at first. God was providing for me. On a campus of 40 thousand people, I bumped into Bridget, as I was waiting on the street corner waiting for the light to turn “green” so we can go across. She directed me to the correct direction, and I didn’t miss my second class. My third class was on the same building, so I obviously didn’t get lost on that one.
I had “Data structure”, “Probability”, and “Discrete math” today. All pretty challenging so far. In data structure, my professor made it a point to remember all our names, so she had us write our name on the black board, and have us stand in front of it, so she could take a picture of our face and our name. I found it kind funny, kinda like a mugg shot. We already got our first programming assignment, it’s not due till the 5th, but still. It’s been a while since I last programed, so this might be a hard one at first.
In probability, the professor said that the class is pretty hard, and that if you are a sophmore, that came straight from calculus, you shouldnt be taking the class, because there’s a high probability for you to fail the course. I read the first chapter of the book today, and my head was a hurting. There was some stuff I did not get, and I was staring at it, trying to make sense of it. So another challenging course.
Discrete math, was definitely something elese. The professor came in, said his name, and the title of the course, and sorta went through the syllabus (which was maybe first 10 minutes of class). Then he jump straight into lecture. The class is scheduled for 75 minutes, and by the time the class ended, I had 5 pages of notes from the board. I was having a hard time understanding what he is saying, he is using a lot of notations and terms which I am not accustomed to. He also has a foreign accent, so that make things a little more interesting. He talks very fast, which does not help the issue either. After the class, I felt like I didn’t learn more stuff, but I felt like I am more lost than I was before. Probably not how it’s suppose to work. I hope this gets better soon.
The first day was tiring. I came back from my last class and slept for two hours. I guess I gotta adjust myself back into a school routine, and get used to little sleep, and constantly doing something.
Anyways, God is good. I went to a movement meeting for Campus Crusade yesterday. I met many of th student leaders at Madison, and I am glad to be plugged in right away. I only remember a few though, but I am sure in time, I will know all of them. This weekend I will be going to a men’s mini retreat by our campus director here in Madison - Scott Roe. So that should be fun. God has already open opprotunity for me to serve him, I cant wait to see what direction God wants me to take. So at the meeting, it was a pot luck meeting, so I cooked fried rice, it was good, there wasn’t any left. 
That fact has no relavence at all, just thought I add that in my blog.
Reflection on TCX - Part II
After talking to Scott, and praying, and just thinking in my head (trying to wrap around this concept). I was fairly certain of what I needed to do. I was to drop all my engineering courses and pursue something else in which I can use my God given talents to serve him. I was also thinking though my head of what are the talents that God gave me, and I came up with a few: computer IT stuff, web design, web server and administrator stuff, media publishing (post cards/pamphlets/posters…), video production, music.
On the way back to Wisconsin, I was praying and singing to God, and asking Him for signs and clear sense of feeling of what I need to do. Within a few minutes of asking Him for a sign, a car was passing me from the right, with an unusual bumper sticker that says “TOOL”, just regular font, with no drawing or anything, just the word tool. I think that was the sign that God wanted me to be a tool for Him. And then that same night, I got a weird dream (it has a talking dinosaur and ramen noodle in it…) But what I got from that dream was that the treasures on earth is finite. Even if you are rich with wealth, you can still be empty, because it will just run out eventually. What I should be focusing on is our treasures in heaven, and what we can do here on earth to impact the lives for eternity.
Yesterday, after doing some research on what major/field I could use my God given talents to further His Kingdom, I’m now pursuing Computer Science (CS), and possibly also Communication Arts (CA).
Possible jobs and how it impact the Kingdom:
CS:
IT department, computer tech, administrator, server stuff, web design…. — Working full or part time, don’t know yet, but the possibility of supporting computers and web servers for ministry purpose. For example: website development for Summer Project and other ministry websites, building databases for different ministry use (like conference registration, etc)
CA:
Mainly focusing on video production and printed media stuff… possible jobs related to ministry - creating videos and printed materials for conferences, or new idea that are being deployed. Example - allcallings.com , campusamerica.org, 24-7 prayer…
Since I made the decision yesterday, my heart has been at peace. I would imagine that most rational people wont change major/all their classes two weeks before moving in to a new school… And if they do, I would imagine a sense of anxiety, and stressing out about it. My heart is at peace with the decision. I am really glad that I’ve made this decision, the possibilities of furthering His Kingdom is endless.
That’s my reflection on what God has done in my life during TCX. What’s yours?
Reflection on TCX - Part I
TCX 2008 has really been an eye opening experience for me. I’ve been to Christian conferences before, but not like this. The theme of the conference was “All In”, God really taught me a few things during the course of the conference. Which lead to an important decision of my life which I will get to later.
What God taught me was that even though I was involved in Campus Crusade and serving him that way, I’ve ignored other areas of my life which I have not really given full control to Him. Before the conference, I thought my life was good. This past semester has been probably one of the easiest semester I had since college started. My heart was at peace, and I saw relationships around me get fixed. I really enjoyed serving others on my campus, and it was cool to see how God used me and the rest of the team to build up this group of God thirsty students at school. I was ready to go off to Madison next semester and tackle the students there. I got accepted into the Electrical Engineering program, and I had all my classes registered. Spring semester will be starting in a few weeks.
During TCX, I was struck by the fact that I really didn’t give up everything. I’ve ignored my career choice as a decision for God. God works in amazing and humorous ways. Steve Papez setup an appointment for me to meet with Scott Roe (campus director of Madison) so that I could get plugged in right away. There was about getting me plugged in into the “senior level” Bible studies with a little more than a dozen God fearing men that Scott personally disciple. God was just opening door for me. I was told to go to Scott’s seminar titled “Discerning God’s Will”, so that I could meet with Scott after the seminar. Since the appointment and all that was set for me, I did not really have a choice in which seminar to pick. So I went to the seminar, and Scott was telling the group briefly of his story, which later I got a more in depth version of.
Scott was originally an engineering major. He was at his junior year, when he started realize that engineering might not be the best for him. It was to the point where the math is getting pretty hard, and things weren’t fun anymore. Some how he decided to leave his engineering goal behind and pursue communication. And now today, he’s the director for Madison’s Campus Crusade, serving the Lord, and changing lives of lost students.
When I heard his story, I was in shocked, that he is telling MY story. I am going through the same exact struggles that Scott was going through. The decisions of staying with engineering or not… It was interesting that I was put in a setting in which I had no intension of being there to begin with, but Steve set an appointment for me, I couldn’t really turn down. The director at the school I will be attending next semester is telling me MY story though his story. That is really when I really asked God where I could serve Him better. The decision for engineering was sorta pulled out of a hat to begin with. I knew I was capable of becoming an engineer and that I have always been good at math and science. I originally picked engineering because I knew a few friends from high school who are headed to that direction, and I figured why not (without doing much research)? And the amount of money that I will be making was a big pull to the decision.